One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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