I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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