Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
