he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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