The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
