I feel like I'm in dance class right now
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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