So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
