If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
