Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
