he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
