just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize