I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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