So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
