Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
she looked like the before picture.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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