the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
