YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
