I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
