Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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