Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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