On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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