also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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