Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He felt like a one man threesome
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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