That's when you crack a 10am beer
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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