Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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