new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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