We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
