you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
