I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
