I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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