My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize