I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
