C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
