My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
