Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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