I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize