I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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