found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
