That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
