Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
