I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
