Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
