I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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