She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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