I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
