proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He kissed a someone with a penis
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize