He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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