This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
