oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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