I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
