so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize