I skipped work to stalk him.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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