I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
