if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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