More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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