he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
