Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
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